Shadow Boxer, Baby

boxing artwork

Today I realized it … I’ve been shadow boxing most’a my life. It occurred to me just this morning, when I noticed myself having a mental conversation with someone who wasn’t even there.

Not in a looney-tunes way, in the same way so many of us do. It usually comes in the form of either a flash back or flash forward. Like this:

Flash back …

Do you ever relive a past event over again (and over … and over …)? Immersing yourself in thoughts and memories … all in the name of “figuring it out,” right?

Ok so let’s think about this.

Do we ever really figure it out by replaying the scene on endless loop, reenacting it dozens of times?

Hmm, highly doubtful!

Flash forward …

Do you ever have a fictitious mental discussion (or even an argument) with someone you’ve been hurt by?

Imagining what you’d say / what they’d say / how you’d respond to what they said / how they’d then respond to what you said.

Putting words in their mouth … words they may or may not ever even consider uttering.

Wow, look how hurtful that person is, right?  Wait, it’s just YOU talking to YOU. Now that’s not even fair!

Helpful? I think we both know the answer to that.

Perseveration ain’t pretty.

Whether flashing back or forward, we’re doing ourselves a horrendous disservice, allowing our minds to swim in garbage and hoping for the best.

It’s mental torture and the crazy thing is, we do it to ourSELVES.

Punching and punching away at the air. The ghost we’re throwin’ jabs at is not even there.

And we wind up beating up ourselves. It’s like kicking a man when he’s down … and that man is YOU.

When I realized the useless exercise I was mindlessly participating in, I decided to pay attention. To notice when I’m shadow boxing and make a choice:

Put down the gloves.

It’s really as simple as that. Declare your choice and move your mind over to something—anything—else.

Shadow boxing is not rehearsing.

If you want to have a talk with that person at some point in time, trust that in that moment you will connect to your heart and then, without any rehearsing, you will say the exact perfect thing. You do not need to figure out what words to say or how to resolve the situation.

Shadow boxing is not remembering.

It serves no purpose to go over the details again and again. You do not need to remind yourself of the story, you already KNOW the story.

Shadow boxing isn’t of much use for any other purpose than beating up yourSELF.

So join me, we can do this together. Next time you find yourself shadow boxing, be kind to YOU and put down the gloves.

Inspiring Art: Magic

The day I broke up with normal was the first day of my magical life

YOU lifting ME

Dance of Life wall art
Above: “Dance of Life” painting 

Well my beautiful friends, I’ve witnessed some major miracles over here! And it’s all about the healing power of love energy.

You lifted me.

Last week the precious Jeannette Maw was all locked ‘n loaded. If I were unable to host my Magical Medical Mystery Tour call with Bob Doyle, she was ready to hop on and do it for me.

I was incredibly ill and in total misery …

But my heart kept telling me that the one to lead the call must be me.

Not because it had to be me or it should be me (I felt no sense of push in any way, shape or form) … but because my heart was calling me to it. Purely a love thing. I wanted to connect and to be there on the call with everybody.

And so I was.

The following night my parents took me to the ER cuz I had begun bleeding. A lot. Boy is this ever a crazy ride! One minute tossin’ my cookies, the next leading a Magical Medical Mystery Tour session, then rockin’ the ER. I realized my body is really begging me for a time out. So I’ve been giving it that.

Even so, I absolutely know for certain and for sure, beyond a shadow of even the tiniest, most miniscule doubt, that leading the call was the right thing to do. I just knew it in my heart.

I honestly am blown away that I was able to pull it out amidst how much pain I’ve been in … I really rode on my strong intention and the group’s energy.

I told everyone what was going on super-briefly, just that I was feeling incredibly ill but that I wanted to be there with you all.

I asked you to send me your best energy.

And you did.

I listened to the replay and really heard my normal self.

I felt like my normal self.

Afterwards I fell apart. And that was ok. I pulled it together for the call, had a wonderful call and felt really connected to everyone, engaged with Bob and lovin’ every minute of it. And then my body wanted a time out. Which is cool. Sometimes, livin’ in these human bodies, we need to hit the pause button!

There’s a time for pullin’ it out and a time for a time out!

On this week’s call I may add a piece about what happened last week, being able to pull things out through love, energy and intention, following your heart … and also listening to your body. Sometimes I feel like a human guinea pig for these Wednesday sessions. Bob told me I’m leaving a legacy of healing. That really touched my heart. I’m so thankful.

Wanna hear something truly mind-blowing?

I’ve been experiencing such misery that I’ve at times felt I couldn’t handle it and wished I could just “get outa here” with a capital G, O and H. I used to be really good with pain. I could totally get through stuff. Now it’s been goin’ on so long that I’m worn out. I almost feel as if this week I passed some sort of threshold, like I went beyond in misery so far that what once would have been considered tolerable now feels intolerable.

Yesterday my friend Wendy Yellen (facilitator on my second Magical Medical Mystery Tour session), knowing what I was feeling, opened up a time to do some eidetic imagery with me. She asked what I wanted and I said “peace.” So we did an eidetic image together and it was really, really good. I let go of a lotta stuck energy.

We got off the phone around 7 and I realized I was feeling differently, I was feeling some sort of peace inside of me and this “all is well” feeling … I was completely surprised because I’ve been just struggling so much lately that this was a brand new thing to be feeling … peace … and what I had so very much wished for.

Well, that alone was pretty friggin’ awesome
but here’s the mind-blowing part.

I’ve been staying off of the internet for the most part this week— just haven’t been feeling up t’ going online—but for some reason got the nudge to go, via my phone while in bed, to Jumping Tracks (Elyse Hope Killoran‘s group, from my FIRST Magical Medical Mystery Tour session … Notice a trend? Surrounded by amazing people here, right? 😉  ) … So I go to the page and see my name there in this discussion that was posted that very same day.

Here’s what was said:

Hi folks, I wonder would ye be on for sending a blaze of Loving Light to Col this evening at 7pm est? If we do it as a group, she’ll surely get a magnificent boost. I’ll be doing it myself, just simply sending her as much loving light as I can muster and sending it her way. If ye agree, just do it at the time so that the energy is magnified. Lots of loving light to all of us and especially Col.

7pm … exactly when I was feeling the lifting, highly unusual and much-welcomed sense of peace.

Ok now I am going to curse, or sorta curse, get ready. What the F!!! Right? (As curses go, that wasn’t so bad, was it?) I’m not sure if this whole thing comes across but if you were in my body right now you would understand.

I made it through our call somehow, sandwiched in pain, because my heart told me to do it and I requested your energy … and it was not any sort of struggle, it was a beautiful experience.

I felt this unprecedented sense of total peace after doing eidetic imagery and at the exact moment in time when, unbeknownst to me, people were sending me love.


Just wow.

Love sure is magic, isn’t it?

Inspired Art: Healing

Sharing some artwork I created
while listening to Angel Elixirs and healing meditational soundscapes …
To truly feel the energy infused into the images, click to enlarge.

Womb of Creation imagery by Col McGunnigle

“Womb of Creation”

"Fluid Unfoldment In Grace" imagery created with love by Col McGunnigle

“Fluid Unfoldment In Grace”

"Joyous Possibility" imagery

“Joyous Possibility”

“Lungs as Wings of the Heart” imagery

“Wings of the Heart”

"Closing the Gap" imagery

“Essence of Love”

Inspired Art: Healing Past Trauma and Suppression
“Healing Trauma and Suppression”

Transformation & Miracles artwork by Col / Design by Muse

“Solar Flare: Transformation & Miracles”

Click an image to enlarge and enjoy!
(Secret: Click once. When the image opens, click again,
to bring the image even larger and bask in the full energy.)

My intention is to support, enhance and expand healing in us all.

Much love,

And below are some words to inspire you as you move through
your journey of love and healing …

Inner Wisdom Cards: Healing

Read Letting the Light In: Transforming Your Pain into Power
by Philip M. Berk, who inspires us all to use life’s darkest moments to cultivate the deepest rewards. Berk gracefully weaves together a treasury of ancient and modern spiritual wisdom along with his personal healing story. Anyone struggling with illness or looking for a clear perspective on life will find inspiration and practical wisdom in this guide.

Sandra Kring quote

Read Thank You for All Things by Sandra Kring

Riding the Wave: Being the Chooser

Swell: A Year of Waves

What Works:

Taking a moment to rise up
for the big-picture overview, and then choosing …

The sooooo-sick has been comin’ in waves.

I’ve always wanted to be a surfer. When somebody asks how I’m doing these days, I say with a smile, “Ridin’ the waves, ridin’ the waves!” I have no idea if they even know what that means. Usually they don’t ask.

It would be fun to gather up the survey results of what each person envisions “riding the waves” to be …  I bet there would be some good stories in there!

Today I did things differently. And I want to remember. Cuz it’s GOOD. It’s VERY GOOD.

Step One: Get up and eat. Hmmm, sick. Very sick.

Step Two: Cry.

Don’ worry, this is short-lived. As long as I don’t resist it, this crying thing usually passes within like 5 to 10 minutes. If you know me, you know I’m always concerned that somebody who loves me may get worried seeing me in pain or crying or whatever, so if you’re here with me when it happens, you’ll most likely hear me saying, “Don’t worry…” (sob sob or ouch ouch, whatever the case may be) “…Gimme five minutes, this will pass! Don’t worry, don’t worry!”

Step Three: Call boyfriend.

When crying or ouching it’s awfully nice to have a lovely boyfriend of some sort, to cry or ouch with. If you don’t have one’a those, feel free to use the phone-a-friend option. I am a big fan of moving-through things … feelings, pain, whatever … bending and acknowledging it while looking for the gift in it and then allowing it to move through you and on its merry way. Which it does. If I don’t resist, it does. Helps to have a go-to person for that. (Or a few. Whatever it takes!)

Step Four: Omg so so sick, so very sick now.

Step Five: Hmm, it’s passing. Ok now, let’s see, maybe I should do something now that it’s passed. (Y’gotta remember … You’re talkin’ to the former Workaholic Multitasker-of-the-Universe here!)

And here is the key moment, pay attention! That seemingly was a good idea, taking the opportunity to “do” now that the wave is in lull form, right?

Maybe. Let’s see.

So what are the choices here?

Step Six: Here’s where I rise up for a big picture overview, getting the lay of the land. I have never done this before so feel my glee in this. Let’s see, let’s see …

Ok so I have a doctor’s appointment in two hours. Is it best to use up my energy doing and then have none or have ouch on my doorstep when it’s time to go out there into the big, wide world?

Maybe lay down now, then in an hour, get ready to see the doctor. This may be a good way to manage my energy.

Ok, that’s one choice.

Lay of the land … let’s see, let’s see …

MAYbe I get ready to go (bath, dress, etc) now while I’m feeling ok … and then lay down … this way I’m already ready plus taking care of myself.

This feels joyful. Joyful is a good sign.

I’ve never done that before, getting ready first … I tend to be either resting in a sick moment or doing-doing-doing in a non-sick moment and then either way, when the time comes to get ready to leave, I’m all out. All outa energy.

Ok so this is good. I like this.

At a choice point, it works to:

  1. Rise up, get the big-picture overview of the lay of the land.
  2. Observe your choices.
  3. Notice what feels light or joyful.
  4. Choose.

“Okay. The story is about a little wave, bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He’s enjoying the wind and the fresh air-until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore. “My God, this is terrible,” the wave says. “Look what’s going to happen to me!”

Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him, “Why do you look so sad?”

The first wave says, “You don’t understand! We’re all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn’t it terrible?”

The second wave says, “No, you don’t understand. You’re not a wave, you’re part of the ocean.”

Morrie Schwartz

 Elyse Hope Killoran

I Am Powerful

Buy "Embrace Change" Wall Art — Kelly Rae Roberts
“Embrace change. Take the journey back to yourself. Love with abandon. Speak of your gratitude. Wear yellow shoes. Unleash your creative spirit. Dance in the moonlight. Be positive. Believe in healing. Share your inner light. Surprise yourself and do the thing you didn’t think you could do. Live as if you’ve only been given one chance.”

— Kelly Rae Roberts


What if you were going to die tomorrow?
What silly little things would you do today just to celebrate life
and to make yourself smile?

Today I began my September Eidetics Check-in
Eidetics is a powerful but simple process using images to help people get from where they are today to where they really want to be.


  1. I no longer lie down in my images. I no longer cry when doing images. When doing images, I feel strong. This is unprecedented and unfathomable.
  2. In life, I am feeling joy. People tell me I’m an inspiring, positive person yet for a while there, I was struggling with what I might label as some sort of blues each morning. It would take lots of processing to raise up from this each day. I have not felt this in weeks. I have even experienced intense pain as recently as yesterday but this did *not* feel bad emotionally. And when I laid down to rest, I did *not* feel guilty. Instead, I have been feeling noticeably joyful.
  3. I’ve been putting together a teleseminar series on healing and all of the people who have been helping me along this journey will be teaching others what I’ve learned from them. These people are both dear friends and beautiful blessings in my life. I am delighted and excited beyond belief.
  4. I am wearing deep orchid pants and a purple tank top with hot pink straps peeking out from underneath. Last week, my friend Stephanie treated me, taking me out to get manicures. When the girl suggested making the nail of my ring finger a different color, my first thought was, “That sounds like fun but will I really like it? Will I want to live with it for a week?” Next thought … “Who cares!”My nails now look like this:

Col's rebellious beach nailsI am on a journey of healing. In books and in articles (which I no longer read) I kept hearing my illness referred to as, “This fatal disease.” I have taken this as power. *Not* to say that this *will* take over my body and then I will die as they describe, but just say that were true …

What would I want these last few years to be like?

The first thing I did was … whatever the hell I wanted. Just silly things. Tiny joyful rebellions.

I am delighting in simple things like purple nails or going to the beach with a friend for 10 minutes or laughing with my mom at our idiocyncracies. That is not spelled right and I am not even Googling it, ha! 😀 What a rebel!

Eidetic Images I’m working with: White Horse
(from New Surrealism by Akhter Ahsen)

In my image, the scent of blood repulsed me and I dropped the swords, which broke in half. When I picked them up, I gashed my hands. As the battle began, I was mixed up and confused.

I pulled the weak person up and slung him onto the horse behind me.  He began bandaging my hands with these thick, white bandages. Denise mentioned the battle at that point and he said, “The battle can wait,” holding up a hand. Just this one gesture stopped everything and the only things moving were the horse and us. I thought, “Wow, what power that weak person has.”

The horse was stopped but moving, just turning and stomping a bit. We took the time to bandage my hands. We had all the time we needed, whatever that might be. Then the swords grew curved handles like the 3 Musketeers’ swords and I held them in my newly-bandaged hands.

As I moved into battle, the weak person fell off the back of the horse but swooped himself up onto a branch and used his sword deftly. Again I thought, “What a powerful weak person.”

I began swishing my swords at the ghost-warriors. Taking the time to look more closely, they became solid and I plunged the swords more powerfully. I jumped off the horse to really get in there. When I jumped back onto the horse, I felt strong and powerful. I heard, “I am powerful. I make things happen.” This repeated over and over …

“I am powerful. I make things happen.” 

 .  .  .  .   .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  . 

Where I’d like to go next with my Eidetics work:

Wherever it takes me. 🙂

I just noticed my March reply to this very question:

“Everywhere! Just to explore more and maybe to allow the work to bring me to a place where I no longer feel that ‘doing’ is exhausting. When I’m creating, I’m doing and it’s effortless … I want to remember that in advance of the doing rather than having to jump over a hump in order to do. (I wonder if this is a valid answer to the question …)”

Well, I suppose it was a valid answer because I am living this now. I don’t need to remind myself that it’s helpful to see friends or to create or to do whatever. I feel called to do and so I do. Simple yet beautiful. So very grateful. 


Inspiring Art: Dreams

"What is Calling You" Wall Art - Kelly Rae Roberts - "The whispers of our lives want us to take notice. They may just be whispers, small voices tucked deep inside the pockets of our hearts, but we must hold their possibilities close to our chests and allow them to step into the light."

What is Calling You
Kelly Rae Roberts
Pick one up at 

“The real possibilities in life show up when you are willing to be in question, recognize you have choice, get that you have possibilities and be the contribution and receive the contribution the world wants to give.” —Gary Douglas
Read “Magic. You Are It. Be It.
by Gary Douglas 

A Heart Filled with Love

Healing Hearts image

“Love one another and help others to rise to higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy.”
—Sai Baba

There are no words… (Although you may see a whole bunch of ’em below!)

I believe I had the most beautiful heart procedure anyone could ever wish for. Giving Dr. Jadonath an invisible hug because he cares so much about his patients and I am so completely grateful to him. He’s one of the top heart surgeons in the country but the one and only, ultra grand supreme one, to me.

Dr. Jadonath made sure I understood everything, had all of my questions answered and felt comfortable with it all. He put his hand on my shoulder as he explained things to me. A small gesture but so important, y’know?

In two hours he found and removed not one but three spots. I think it’s more complicated than it sounds because it has to do with electricity. Until two months ago I thought there was only blood running through your heart, not electricity! Silly me!

Afterwards he said, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is, you’re not crazy! The bad news is, you had MANY spots and I’m concerned that you may develop more.”

“Not crazy” … I like the sound’a that! Yes, I’ll take it! I’ll also take it that, for now, all is well in my heart. No matter what, all is always well. This I know. Only love in there.

Healing HandsWhen I laid down on the table, on the warm soft billowy air-filled cloud, I first opened up Roberta‘s energy packet. I needed to be semi-awake the whole time so that they could stimulate my heart and find where the problems were. Each time I felt the pain, I envisioned my heart glowing with love … and the experience was magical.

I wonder if the anesthesiologist and the (who was that other voice?) knew how comforting it was to hear them in my ear from time to time, telling me I was doing such good work. (As if *I* were doing something, right?) Whenever they said that, I smiled on the inside and felt proud of myself for doing “such a very good job!”

Some things would in human terms be labeled, ummm, “other than desired’ … but I truly, truly, deeply felt only radiant and positive and joyful and loving. I can’t even describe it because in some ways it makes no sense but in the ways that count, it makes all the sense in the world. It was the most positive experience I could ever imagine.

Miracle of Love Angel CardI felt all the love and support and prayers and white light that was being sent to me. That beautiful loving energy, combined with my intention, lifted and carried me:

“My doctor will find and remove anything that needs to be healed, cleared, forgotten or forgiven … and when I wake up, the only thing left in my heart will be all the love.”

>>  I randomly pulled out an angel card when I was going to see my friends the day before. It said: “The Miracle of Love: I am brought alive by the miracle of love.”  >>

Later that evening I secretly smiled at the guy one bed over, who had his TV on the whooooole night. I never actually met him but one thing I know: If you need to find out what news happened on that night, you can ask him. He knows the scoop from every angle, inside and out, every which way, right side up and upside down. Interesting to notice: The noise didn’t bother me, not even a little.

I fell asleep at 9. (My friends reading this are in shock!) Yes, yes, back up and check out the time … that was not a type-o! 9 pm, people!

For some reason I kept thinking I was fine so the main nurse had to come in and reprimand me with a smile, “Whatever you’re doing in here, stop it! You’re making me nervous!” My heart beat strangely when I thought I was ok enough for a bathroom break. Not s’fast, heart patient!

No Need to Worry>> Look what I found on the floor of my closet, as I packed to go to the hospital  >>

The nurses woke me up every two or so hours, for echocardiograms and bloodwork and blood pressure tests and other fun things, making sure I wasn’t raising my head or bending my knees (harder than it sounds, controlling the desire to bend your knees … who knew!) yet I had the most peaceful rest of my life. Listening to Elyse, Wendy and Panache … Access Consciousness and Eidetic Imagery … through the earbuds Gary left me (how sweet of him to sacrifice sound and make a silent trip home!) I slept in sheer joy, two blissful hours of rest at a time.

Lu Lu Love BearWhen they woke me, I felt happy to see them every time. I knew each by name … who was going home when and who had decided to do a double. When they’d come check on me, I’d answer their questions and ask, “How are *YOU*?” So much appreciation for how beautifully they took care of me. Bonus: They gave me blankets and cute sox and asked about my comforting new friend, LuLu Love.  >>
Does it get any better?

Days later, I feel …
(in no particular order, as you’ll soon see by the fact that my Droid is right up there near the top!)

  • grateful for all that I’ve learned about the healing power of love .
  • grateful for my Droid, which enabled me to text “All is well!” to my friends and provided me with Elyse and Wendy in my ear whenever I wanted them.
  • grateful for Mom ‘n Dad, who I’m pretty sure gave radically different accounts to my friends who called (Dad being no-frills vs Momma all details ‘n stories— She’ll tell everybody ’bout your bowel movements if you don’t keep an eye on her!) … What would I do without them? Truly, truly. (And thank you for making my pink bear wishes come true!)
  • grateful for Gary, who hid a pink bear in the gift shop so nobody else would buy it … who’s been there with support for multiple years of my magical medical mystery tour and who had a beautiful, loving and healing heart-to-heart communication with me, interrupted ever so briefly by the guy in the next bed. (Yes Gar, I heard it too! )
  • grateful for the girls, who took me to the pool for a pre-hospital mermaid adventure … my beautiful friends and relatives, who checked on me and prayed for me … who sent love, light and energy out to me, and visited me with flowers and cookies and ice cream and lava cakes (alas, the plural on that last one is just wishful thinking!)
  • grateful for Dr. Jadonath and his team, who made me feel completely and utterly safe and comfortable. I can’t even begin to sing their praises enough. I felt surrounded by kindness, warmth and support.
  • grateful for the beautiful people in the cardiology wing at North Shore Hospital, who took such good care of me.
  • grateful for my empathetic and loving clients, who said, “Don’t worry about my project this week” when I was not even asking for that! (Sometimes other people take care of me better than I do myself!) Proving that it *is* possible to bring heart into business.

And last but not least … ever-so-grateful for a heart healed and cleared … and filled with only love!

Hugs to all of my precious family, friends and clients …



Embracing the Orchid: Loving Your True Self



“Most of us have genes that make us as hardy as dandelions: able to take root and survive almost anywhere. A few of us, however, are more like the orchid: fragile and fickle, but capable of blooming spectacularly if given greenhouse care.

So holds a provocative new theory of genetics, which asserts that the very genes that give us the most trouble as a species, causing behaviors that are self-destructive and antisocial, also underlie humankind’s phenomenal adaptability and evolutionary success.

With a bad environment, orchid children can end up depressed, drug-addicted or in jail—but with the right environment, they can grow up to be society’s most creative, successful and happy people.”

—from The Science of Success by David Dobbs


“Y’don’t need to fix Col”

The words of my friend smacked me in the face. It had never dawned on me until that exact moment. This was what I’d been trying to do my entire life: Fix Col.

I suppose I should’a known. One look at my living room bookshelf tells the tale … It’s self-help central down there!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still a fan of personal growth and healing. But there’s a big difference between learning/growth/transformation … and trying to fix a broken Col.

The Orchid Theory

Years ago, my clientfriend Elyse shared with me something called The Orchid Theory. It goes a little bit like this:

There are certain genes inside of us that can make us particularly prone to anxiety or depression or things like ADD. Certain genes are linked to those experiences. But … people who have these genes, given the right environment, are likely to become the most outstanding, extraordinary elements of our society.

The idea is that there are lots ‘n lots of dandelions in the world … people who are born with very hardy genes … who will sprout wherever they’re planted, even between the cracks of a sidewalk. They are these resilient souls.

Then there are these highly sensitive orchids. They really need to be nurtured and cared for. But when you take good care of an orchid and provide it with the optimal environment, the difference in beauty between an orchid and a dandelion cannot be questioned.

Under the right circumstances, orchids flourish

A parent was told, “Your children do not have ADD but they are highly sensitive indigo children. You and I have a pencil-thin beam of download, of energy coming in, and your youngest son has one that is like six inches in diameter. He is receiving energy at such a high degree. He is so incredibly sensitive that you’ll want to help him ground that in any way that you can. Because his sensitivity marks him as someone who has a tremendous intent to create and to generate powerfully during his time here.”

Elyse told me, “I want you to hold that vision for yourself. I want you to say …

  • not, “This is bad, I should be flourishing” but
    “I am an orchid. What do I need?” 
  • not “What kind of clearing must I do to get rid of the ikky” but
    “If I had a child in front of me who was not flourishing at the moment, what would I do to help her come back to her highest connection?”
  • not to push away her feelings of disconnection because that’s like trying to control and you can just do and do and do and do and do … but
    “What can I do to soothe and to nurture and to support and to pamper this sensitive and precious being?”

And then she said, “So just be the orchid that you were meant to be. I know that you are an orchid— the work that you created for me is the work of an incredibly gifted soul.”

I took in something so very powerful from this. It’s a tiny tweak that brings huge gifts. And I’m pretty sure I’ve noticed this before but hey, if it’s worth noticing once, it’s worth noticing again. This time really taking it in.

Push vs flow

When I push to fix something inside, the thing that I’m attempting to change yells, “Hey now, that hurts!” and tends to push back. It sorta refuses to be bullied around. I need to pay attention to that push-back energy because it’s a sure sign I’m goin’ down the wrong path.

This can even happen with perfectly good intentions, like doing a process that will in the end bring healing and restoration. When I think of doing something like this and I feel a push-back, I’ll now want to stop and look around. What feels more like a fit right now? Maybe do the process later, when it feels more fluid.

When I’m gentle and loving and work with my natural flow of energy … Well, those are the times when I thrive. Things work and transformation happens and all sorts of beauty is created, no pushing necessary.


“When I see you, I see a being who’s loved just because. I see a being who is powerfully connected to spirit, whose life is a living testimony to the power of spirit and the wonderful adventures and miracles that can unfold when an individual allows spirit to flow through them freely and fully.

You are not broken. You don’t need fixing. Everything that you’ve been trying to get rid of is actually working in your favor, to bring you into more. Everything that you’ve been diligently trying to change is the very stuff that you need to facilitate your greater evolution and the evolution of every other person alive on the planet today.

You’ll either move into the fullness of who you are or you’ll begin to experience everything that’s in the way of that. And when I mean, ‘in the way of that’ I mean everything that you’ve repressed or suppressed within. Everything that you’ve judged about you. Everything that you’ve tried to change about you. Everything that you’ve tried to fix and heal about yourself.

You see, because it’s only ever through the embracing of who we are that true freedom can be found. It’s only through the embracing of who we are that true authentic power can begin to emanate.”

Panache Desai 


One Thousand Gifts

Beach Glass in Gumball Machine

What makes your heart smile?

I thrive wherever there’s an expanse of sand and water. Ocean or bay is my all-is-well-with-the-world spot. Appreciation of the day: That I live near one of each, for walks on the beach whenever I want.

For a playful memento in the design studio, I’m collecting beach glass in an old-fashioned gumball machine. This makes me smile.

. . . . . . . . . . .

I’m known as the positive one in the family. It’s a running joke with Momma, that I’m always tryin’ to get them to look on the bright side.

(Hey, there are pretty much always two sides … and they’re usually more or less equal … why not pick the one that doesn’t totally suck? Am I right? 😉 )

So today should come as no surprise.

Momma is addressing a package, Dad is trying to get her out the door.

Me: “We’re gonna count 1,000 gifts in 2012 … three per day. So today, June 13th, be on the lookout for something you smell which you’re grateful for and at the end of the day you tell me, k?”

Dad: (pauses with amused smile / raise-of-the-eyebrow combo) “Ooooo-KAY!”
(translation: “Whatever you say, crazy girl!”)

Me: (laughing) “Momma you’re not even listening …”

Momma: (not looking up) “I’m listening. I already know what it will be … a cup of tea!”

. . . . . . . . . . .

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

—Melody Beattie

What three things do you appreciate today?
And who can you coerce to join you in a little gratitude dance?

One Thousand Gifts in June

Print out and count your own 1,000 gifts in June!