I Am Powerful

Buy "Embrace Change" Wall Art — Kelly Rae Roberts
“Embrace change. Take the journey back to yourself. Love with abandon. Speak of your gratitude. Wear yellow shoes. Unleash your creative spirit. Dance in the moonlight. Be positive. Believe in healing. Share your inner light. Surprise yourself and do the thing you didn’t think you could do. Live as if you’ve only been given one chance.”

— Kelly Rae Roberts

Question:

What if you were going to die tomorrow?
What silly little things would you do today just to celebrate life
and to make yourself smile?

Today I began my September Eidetics Check-in
Eidetics is a powerful but simple process using images to help people get from where they are today to where they really want to be.

Celebrations:

  1. I no longer lie down in my images. I no longer cry when doing images. When doing images, I feel strong. This is unprecedented and unfathomable.
  2. In life, I am feeling joy. People tell me I’m an inspiring, positive person yet for a while there, I was struggling with what I might label as some sort of blues each morning. It would take lots of processing to raise up from this each day. I have not felt this in weeks. I have even experienced intense pain as recently as yesterday but this did *not* feel bad emotionally. And when I laid down to rest, I did *not* feel guilty. Instead, I have been feeling noticeably joyful.
  3. I’ve been putting together a teleseminar series on healing and all of the people who have been helping me along this journey will be teaching others what I’ve learned from them. These people are both dear friends and beautiful blessings in my life. I am delighted and excited beyond belief.
  4. I am wearing deep orchid pants and a purple tank top with hot pink straps peeking out from underneath. Last week, my friend Stephanie treated me, taking me out to get manicures. When the girl suggested making the nail of my ring finger a different color, my first thought was, “That sounds like fun but will I really like it? Will I want to live with it for a week?” Next thought … “Who cares!”My nails now look like this:

Col's rebellious beach nailsI am on a journey of healing. In books and in articles (which I no longer read) I kept hearing my illness referred to as, “This fatal disease.” I have taken this as power. *Not* to say that this *will* take over my body and then I will die as they describe, but just say that were true …

What would I want these last few years to be like?

The first thing I did was … whatever the hell I wanted. Just silly things. Tiny joyful rebellions.

I am delighting in simple things like purple nails or going to the beach with a friend for 10 minutes or laughing with my mom at our idiocyncracies. That is not spelled right and I am not even Googling it, ha! 😀 What a rebel!

Eidetic Images I’m working with: White Horse
(from New Surrealism by Akhter Ahsen)

In my image, the scent of blood repulsed me and I dropped the swords, which broke in half. When I picked them up, I gashed my hands. As the battle began, I was mixed up and confused.

I pulled the weak person up and slung him onto the horse behind me.  He began bandaging my hands with these thick, white bandages. Denise mentioned the battle at that point and he said, “The battle can wait,” holding up a hand. Just this one gesture stopped everything and the only things moving were the horse and us. I thought, “Wow, what power that weak person has.”

The horse was stopped but moving, just turning and stomping a bit. We took the time to bandage my hands. We had all the time we needed, whatever that might be. Then the swords grew curved handles like the 3 Musketeers’ swords and I held them in my newly-bandaged hands.

As I moved into battle, the weak person fell off the back of the horse but swooped himself up onto a branch and used his sword deftly. Again I thought, “What a powerful weak person.”

I began swishing my swords at the ghost-warriors. Taking the time to look more closely, they became solid and I plunged the swords more powerfully. I jumped off the horse to really get in there. When I jumped back onto the horse, I felt strong and powerful. I heard, “I am powerful. I make things happen.” This repeated over and over …

“I am powerful. I make things happen.” 

 .  .  .  .   .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  . 

Where I’d like to go next with my Eidetics work:

Wherever it takes me. 🙂

I just noticed my March reply to this very question:

“Everywhere! Just to explore more and maybe to allow the work to bring me to a place where I no longer feel that ‘doing’ is exhausting. When I’m creating, I’m doing and it’s effortless … I want to remember that in advance of the doing rather than having to jump over a hump in order to do. (I wonder if this is a valid answer to the question …)”

Well, I suppose it was a valid answer because I am living this now. I don’t need to remind myself that it’s helpful to see friends or to create or to do whatever. I feel called to do and so I do. Simple yet beautiful. So very grateful. 

 

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