A Heart Filled with Love

Healing Hearts image

“Love one another and help others to rise to higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy.”
—Sai Baba

There are no words… (Although you may see a whole bunch of ’em below!)

I believe I had the most beautiful heart procedure anyone could ever wish for. Giving Dr. Jadonath an invisible hug because he cares so much about his patients and I am so completely grateful to him. He’s one of the top heart surgeons in the country but the one and only, ultra grand supreme one, to me.

Dr. Jadonath made sure I understood everything, had all of my questions answered and felt comfortable with it all. He put his hand on my shoulder as he explained things to me. A small gesture but so important, y’know?

In two hours he found and removed not one but three spots. I think it’s more complicated than it sounds because it has to do with electricity. Until two months ago I thought there was only blood running through your heart, not electricity! Silly me!

Afterwards he said, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is, you’re not crazy! The bad news is, you had MANY spots and I’m concerned that you may develop more.”

“Not crazy” … I like the sound’a that! Yes, I’ll take it! I’ll also take it that, for now, all is well in my heart. No matter what, all is always well. This I know. Only love in there.

Healing HandsWhen I laid down on the table, on the warm soft billowy air-filled cloud, I first opened up Roberta‘s energy packet. I needed to be semi-awake the whole time so that they could stimulate my heart and find where the problems were. Each time I felt the pain, I envisioned my heart glowing with love … and the experience was magical.

I wonder if the anesthesiologist and the (who was that other voice?) knew how comforting it was to hear them in my ear from time to time, telling me I was doing such good work. (As if *I* were doing something, right?) Whenever they said that, I smiled on the inside and felt proud of myself for doing “such a very good job!”

Some things would in human terms be labeled, ummm, “other than desired’ … but I truly, truly, deeply felt only radiant and positive and joyful and loving. I can’t even describe it because in some ways it makes no sense but in the ways that count, it makes all the sense in the world. It was the most positive experience I could ever imagine.

Miracle of Love Angel CardI felt all the love and support and prayers and white light that was being sent to me. That beautiful loving energy, combined with my intention, lifted and carried me:

“My doctor will find and remove anything that needs to be healed, cleared, forgotten or forgiven … and when I wake up, the only thing left in my heart will be all the love.”

>>  I randomly pulled out an angel card when I was going to see my friends the day before. It said: “The Miracle of Love: I am brought alive by the miracle of love.”  >>

Later that evening I secretly smiled at the guy one bed over, who had his TV on the whooooole night. I never actually met him but one thing I know: If you need to find out what news happened on that night, you can ask him. He knows the scoop from every angle, inside and out, every which way, right side up and upside down. Interesting to notice: The noise didn’t bother me, not even a little.

I fell asleep at 9. (My friends reading this are in shock!) Yes, yes, back up and check out the time … that was not a type-o! 9 pm, people!

For some reason I kept thinking I was fine so the main nurse had to come in and reprimand me with a smile, “Whatever you’re doing in here, stop it! You’re making me nervous!” My heart beat strangely when I thought I was ok enough for a bathroom break. Not s’fast, heart patient!

No Need to Worry>> Look what I found on the floor of my closet, as I packed to go to the hospital  >>

The nurses woke me up every two or so hours, for echocardiograms and bloodwork and blood pressure tests and other fun things, making sure I wasn’t raising my head or bending my knees (harder than it sounds, controlling the desire to bend your knees … who knew!) yet I had the most peaceful rest of my life. Listening to Elyse, Wendy and Panache … Access Consciousness and Eidetic Imagery … through the earbuds Gary left me (how sweet of him to sacrifice sound and make a silent trip home!) I slept in sheer joy, two blissful hours of rest at a time.

Lu Lu Love BearWhen they woke me, I felt happy to see them every time. I knew each by name … who was going home when and who had decided to do a double. When they’d come check on me, I’d answer their questions and ask, “How are *YOU*?” So much appreciation for how beautifully they took care of me. Bonus: They gave me blankets and cute sox and asked about my comforting new friend, LuLu Love.  >>
Does it get any better?

Days later, I feel …
(in no particular order, as you’ll soon see by the fact that my Droid is right up there near the top!)

  • grateful for all that I’ve learned about the healing power of love .
  • grateful for my Droid, which enabled me to text “All is well!” to my friends and provided me with Elyse and Wendy in my ear whenever I wanted them.
  • grateful for Mom ‘n Dad, who I’m pretty sure gave radically different accounts to my friends who called (Dad being no-frills vs Momma all details ‘n stories— She’ll tell everybody ’bout your bowel movements if you don’t keep an eye on her!) … What would I do without them? Truly, truly. (And thank you for making my pink bear wishes come true!)
  • grateful for Gary, who hid a pink bear in the gift shop so nobody else would buy it … who’s been there with support for multiple years of my magical medical mystery tour and who had a beautiful, loving and healing heart-to-heart communication with me, interrupted ever so briefly by the guy in the next bed. (Yes Gar, I heard it too! )
  • grateful for the girls, who took me to the pool for a pre-hospital mermaid adventure … my beautiful friends and relatives, who checked on me and prayed for me … who sent love, light and energy out to me, and visited me with flowers and cookies and ice cream and lava cakes (alas, the plural on that last one is just wishful thinking!)
  • grateful for Dr. Jadonath and his team, who made me feel completely and utterly safe and comfortable. I can’t even begin to sing their praises enough. I felt surrounded by kindness, warmth and support.
  • grateful for the beautiful people in the cardiology wing at North Shore Hospital, who took such good care of me.
  • grateful for my empathetic and loving clients, who said, “Don’t worry about my project this week” when I was not even asking for that! (Sometimes other people take care of me better than I do myself!) Proving that it *is* possible to bring heart into business.

And last but not least … ever-so-grateful for a heart healed and cleared … and filled with only love!

Hugs to all of my precious family, friends and clients …




  1. Maria O'Rourke says:

    Wow! You are an inspiration!! I love love love you sooo much and am so grateful to know you! Hugs to you now and always!

    • You are such a gift! To inspire people is actually my deepest heart’s desire so what you said means so much to me, hun. Love you!

  2. Colleen,
    Thanks for sharing this remarkable story of love and courage and taking good care of yourself!

    • I’m so blessed to be on the Jumping Tracks journey with you … You’re such a dear, dear support there, and now here! … always present for me. Thank you!

  3. Wiow. It almost makes me want to go through the same procedure (almost I said). You an inspiration in how you are a care-giver and a care-taker (of yourself).

    • Well … it *WAS* a pretty good procedure 😉 I’m learning the self-care-taker role … I think it was one of those gifts I was meant to receive out of this experience (among other things!) And hey, there’s that “inspiration” word again … I love it! 😀

  4. My precious friend Col,

    They had to be LOVE spots…can’t imagine anything else interfering with your beautiful heart!
    Thank you for sharing this wonderful outcome with those of us who were not aware of your process ~ and thanks too for your parents, Gary and friends who remained right there with you. Please, if I can be of service in any way whatsoever, I’d love for you to ask!
    I give good hugs too!
    Love & Light,

    • >I give good hugs too!< There is absolutely no doubt about that! 🙂 Thank you so much, Linda, for taking the time to come see what I shared here during this piece of my journey. It means a lot to me and it's so nice to see your beautiful words and face! xoxo

  5. Sandra Fain says:

    My New Wonderful Friend Col, Thank you for sharing this procedure. I had this same procedure a couple of years ago and they removed one bad area from left lobe and one from right and fixed the main valve. No more pain and inability to breath and heart running on Go Extremely Fast, Fast, Fast! A Miracle procedure. We already have a bond, i can tell and I feel such joy in your entering my life. All this journey I have felt I was in God’s, The Universe’s, my two beloved Guardian Angels which are patient when I am neglectful in being “present, ” hands and and in such loving care. I have felt there were many things I needed to learn along this way and those I do not want to ever forget. One is to always have gratitude in my heart; another to never forget my roots, understand that a birthday is not a dirge but a celebration and gift of life which I never expected, work hard enough so that my light around me is always brightly lit, and to use that light to help ease the way for others. I can already tell we have much to give each other. With love, Sandra

    • Isn’t this amazing? I’m really blown away, Sandra, by the similarities in our stories … yours, of course, currently having a different happy ending than mine does at the moment … but I will soon catch up to you! 🙂 Thank you for your absolutely beyond-words support. I’ve always believed fully in God, spirit and the healing power of love and laughter, but until I met you, I had never actually heard of anyone who, in the five-senses-world, had recovered from this as you have. You are an inspiration and a gift and I hope to follow in your footsteps! xo

  6. Thank you so much, precious friends, for these beautiful comments! I so love reading them and it makes my heart smile to receive them. Really it means the world to me. Thank you for lifting me up! xoxo

  7. What a BEAUTIFUL piece of heart stirring insight and expression Col. SO obviously full of Love, compassion and caring and a perfect reflection of what flows from and through you.

    I didn’t realize your stay in the hospital was for this. But what I DO KNOW (and I put KNOW in all caps intentionally and for a specific reason that you may or may not remember) is the never erring or wavering fact that “The Greatest of These is Love.”

    The Love that flows from your heart which is so beautifully and eloquently expressed in your own unique, moving, FABULOUS and soul stirring kind of way provides “tangible and measurable proof” of just how real, true and profoundly powerful that timeless wisdom is. Not that it was “needed” as a reminder….I’m just sayin. 🙂

    Thank You for sharing your heart. Above all, BE WELL and keep shining that “Light.” It’s quite…….well……Illuminating.

  8. It was great to reread this.. Where have the last months gone..?

    Love and Light to you, Precious Col, in ever more increasing abundance ;D

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